Would someone please explain to me what the hell has happened to todays youth? I was raised in a traditional home where you respected your parents NOT because they respected you but because you understood just how much they sacrificed so you could have a good life and for how hard they worked. There was something about them having lived long lives and surviving experiences you as a kid could only speculate about.
Today, this isn’t the case. Kids seem to think that just their existence on this planet warrants them the respect of their elders. They don’t want to have to work for it and they don’t feel like they have to earn it. This applies to their parents and other adults as well. Somewhere along the line someone told them they are entitled and they believe it.
Maybe this is why we have so many kids with no ambition, direction or motivation to be decent human beings who don’t just “take” from everyone and feel no need to give back? That is a sad thought because it tells me that it was the parents of these kids that created this “utopian view” of the world and in doing so have seriously short-changed their children. So many are more interested in being friends with the kids than being a parent and they fail to see that it is “parents” that kids NEED not friends.
Just recently I had a personal experience where I was told by one of my own kid’s friends that I was “selfishly mean” and that I on a daily basis told my child for her entire life that “she was not as good as” any of her sisters. Both of which are bold-faced lies as I have always defended my daughter and always will. Yet this 19-year-old who has never done a thing for herself then went on to reprimand me for not being a “good mother”. This is a kid who is a 19-year-old drop out and does nothing but live off others. From her parents to any guy who will support her desire to sleep all day, party, drink, do drugs and run the road. I met her when she was a 14-year-old “mall rat” who was out all hours of the night and in the 5 years since I have not seen her change at all, just get better at using people. Because she is my daughters friend however, I have made many attempts to just accept the fact that she is a product of the parents she had who were those “friends” I spoke of and I have even found myself defending her on more than one occasion. Now that may seem strange to some of you but I used to think I saw the “possibilities” in this kid. Sadly I don’t see them anymore. I am afraid she is going to end up one more statistic, because that is all she wants to be. My problem is, is that she is determined to bring my daughter down with her and I refuse to let that happen. She has gone so far as to threaten me that if I don’t watch out she will make sure that my daughter moves out and moves in with her and her boyfriend whom she tells everyone is her husband. When I called her on her obnoxious behavior I got the typical response of “fuck you” grow up! If that hadn’t made me laugh so hard I might have been more angry. But as she said I am a REALLY OLD MATURE woman so I just considered the source, something my years of life experience have taught me how to do.
As sad as I find the above tale, I must take some responsibility as well for the reaction of my own kids who were witness to this. I admit I found my feelings pretty hurt at the moment when they didn’t defend me in this confrontation. Instead they glossed over it and honestly that left me feeling pretty deserted. Maybe it’s because I can’t ever think of a time when if someone had spoken to my mother like this I would not have jumped down their throat, whether they were a friend or not. That is my “mother” and I would have defended her because I owed that to her out of respect for all she had done for me in my lifetime. My kids didn’t get that belief I guess, even though I tried to instill it in each of them.
So after a night of deep thought I have to wonder what it is that I missed or what it is that I did wrong? I wonder why I am not entitled to the respect I deserve and why I find myself having to defend against kids with no understanding of what being a parent really is? I never saw this coming and maybe I should have. That is on me I guess.
I just wish that parents would step up to the plate again and start being parents. If they don’t we will have no one to blame for the generations to come but ourselves, and trust me if this is any indication of what kind of people they will be…I am glad I won’t be around to see the fall out.
Bottom line is this…when you at 19 have done something with your life besides take from others, then and only then will you get my respect. I have in 50 years earned my respect and your responsible for doing the same. That’s life…grow up and deal with it. I am an old school mom and I don’t have to defend that!