SURF SIDING


  Going to the beach has never been one of my more favorite things to do as I am a “pool” kinda gal. I like being able to see my feet in the water so I can be sure that they are the only thing lurking below the surface and I most defiantly prefer the chlorine in my eyes to the salt and sand, but that being said I did venture out to the beach not long ago and I have to say I found it vastly different from what I remembered from my youth.

   In my younger years the beach in the summer was the gathering place for the “groups” who had nothing better to do for the day. You had the “rich, young and beautiful”  who were there to show off their tan’s and fashionable swim attire, the “are you happy now families” who were there so the kids would shut up, the “sun-a-phobe’s” who came out in full dress to sit in the heat under an umbrella and bake slowly, the “who’s got the ball crowd” who dashed up and down in the sand catching, tossing and face diving for anything you could throw and finally the “out-of-towners” who had saved for a year just so they could go home burned to a crisp with hundreds of dollars worth of “I love the beach” t-shirts for all their friends.

   And there was a “code” to be followed when it came to what you wore. Yes, you had those girls in the tiny little string bikini’s but for the most part unless you were a size 2, you didn’t dare show up in anything that exposed more than you should. The guys wore the standard swim trunks unless they were from Canada where apparently they only sell “speedo’s” and don’t care what size the customer is when making the sale. With the exception of a few brave souls, there was really little to see, thank goodness.

   Today its a different world at the beach. It’s not that the “groups” have changed but the “code” has. Clearly our tolerance levels for proper attire has reach new highs and I am not sure that is such a good thing.

   On a recent trip to the beach, I settled myself in my beach chair, with my book, under the umbrella just wanting to soak up the cool breeze and enjoy the sound of the waves, but being a “people watcher addict” I soon found myself with my book in my lap and my attention drawn to those around me.

    It was fascinating to see just what people would wear out in public. Now that is not to say I am some kind of fashionista by any means but it made me wonder if mirrors in homes had become a thing of the past or if maybe they just got dressed in the dark?

   To my right was a group of ladies who had decided to show off their belly jewelry the problem was the only time you could see it was when they were laying flat on their backs. In a sitting position I wasn’t even sure any of them had bottoms on.

  To my left was a woman who had reached that age of “I should know better but…” in a brown bikini that was the same color as her age spots and wrinkles, sporting white blond hair and more make up than a Mary Kay cosmetic counter.

  In front of me was a “ladies man” in blue swim trucks that were at least 2 sizes to small because he could only pull them up to cover most of his butt crack, this in turn pushed the belly region to the explosion point. If you have ever seen Family Guy…just think Peter Griffin!

   All up and down the beach I saw more skin, butts, boobs and bellies than you find in a meat market and it was clear that confidence had won out over fashion sense.

   Just when I thought I had seen it all… to my amazement I looked up to find a guy FULLY DRESSED with a metal detector in hand looking for buried treasures. Now while that may not seem odd at this moment, maybe the fact that he was WASTE DEEP IN THE OCEAN will change your mind. I really had to curb my laughter as the thought struck me how funny it would be to take a handful of pennies out there and tossing them in like it was a fountain just to watch him think he had hit the jack pot.

   Maybe next time….

LIFE LESSON: Turn on the lights when you get dressed!

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Posted on June 20, 2010, in LIFE LESSONS and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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