I think as a parent one of the hardest jobs you have is to raise your kids to be confident. It’s such an abstract term when you think about it and one that means something different to each individual person so how do you teach it?
Having girls, presents a unique problem since we live in a society that blast girls with images and ideas of what is “pretty” almost from the time they can walk and talk. Ask yourself….who got Prince Charming…the ugly stepsister or Cinderella? Wasn’t every Step-mother an evil witch? And who was locked away in a pumpkin just because she was fat? Like I said almost from the time they can walk and talk we tell girls that only the “pretty” ones live happily ever after.
It doesn’t get any better the older they get either. By middle school the claws come out and they rip each other apart. Being “popular” depends on your clothing, your hair color, your weight and your friends. If you’re the fat girl with red hair and hand me downs…your screwed. Everything they see and hear just reinforces the notion that only the “pretty” ones succeed. By the time you hit high school forget having a date to the prom, being a cheerleader, or getting a boyfriend. You have already been marked and it’s not going to change. So really how do we exect them to have any self confidence?
For me its a constant battle I face. I was blessed by having four beautiful, smart daughters yet they don’t see themselves that way. It’s like the mirror they have is cracked and distorting their view and I can’t help but wonder what it will take to fix it. That makes me sad because that view is limiting their lives in ways they will never admit to.
I have heard so many say that confidence comes with age yet that is just one more lie we tell each other. If age was the solution we wouldn’t have a need for cosmetic surgery, tanning salons, fashion boutiques, and Botox.
Maybe the only real solution is to accept ourselves first as people then as parents but how many of us are really brave enough to show our warts?
LIFE LESSON: Only gaze into the mirror with the light out, that way your reflection is perfect if you want to believe it is.