The Samurai are Coming!

  For anyone who wants to know what it is like to spend a week in a “war zone” all you need to do is try living with 3 pre-teen and 1 teenage girls in your house. Having been raised as pretty much an only child myself I had no point of reference to work off of when trying to deal with “sibling” mentality. To make matters worse I was dealing with all girls and that it turns out can be very dangerous! I had older brothers so my brain was geared entirely different from theirs. I never had the problems they seemed to have so I was at a total loss as to how to solve most of them. My strategy was to separate them, check for blood and broken bones, punish the first one I could catch and hope for the best. Admittedly not a good strategy but having watched them, I was totally afraid that they would join forces and gang up on me one day so divide and concur seemed like the route to go.

   I never understood how they could look and sound like little walking angels one minute and in the next turn into the spawns of satan. I sometimes envied my brothers for having had boys. They would be so much easier to raise. When boys fight they slug it out and when they are done they go back to be friends. Girls…well they plot, plan and strategize for weeks before they make an attack. They harbor grudges, and will wait for just the perfect moment to strike, when they are sure that the most damage can be done. They are masters at insult, intimidation, and death blows! Even when you think it is all over, they have memories like elephants and will strike out months later to deal another blow. They are like mini generals engaged in war. Hell our Joint Chiefs of Staff could learn a few things from girls.

    I have always been dumbfounded by how vicious they can be. While most times it’s not a “physical” attack …girls just don’t fight that way unless they have no other choice…the things they will say to one another is far worse. Part of that success come from watching one another like hawks. They learn each other weaknesses and vulnerabilities and use those as very effective weapons. They will wait until just the right moment to inflict the most damage…like when your sister is talking to the guy she really likes….and you pipe up with…do you still need some gas-x?  I am going to the store and will pick it up for you. While on the surface it may seem like a “loving” sisterly act, it is one designed to inflict damage and let the attacker walk away smelling like roses. Their other favorite sport is to use “body image” like telling a sister she has one knee higher than the other, or that if she flaps her ears hard enough she can fly.  Nothing is sacred or off-limits when the “war” is on.

   On the rare occasions that this does go “physical” well you are best warned to stand back. Girls fight like Samurai Warriors on a death mission. They use anything they can to inflict pain. Nail, teeth, feet, hair, jewelery are all up for grabs while their mouths spew vile insults. And they are not above silent in the middle of the night attacks either. When one is sleeping they have been known to attack. Everything from “giving a haircut” the day before school pictures to straddling a chest and pounding on the unsuspecting victim, I have seen first hand.

   But I have to say, as mean as they are, as sneaky as they can be, sisters have a unique bond that while they can destroy each other at the drop of a hat, turns  them into a “viking horde” when someone from the outside makes the mistake of attacking one of them. They fight to destroy and they never offer “quarter”. They can “hate” one another today and tomorrow join forces to take down the world.

   If I have learned anything by living in a house full of girls, it’s that I should never “expect” anything and I should always be prepared for everything. So much for that old saying….”sugar and spice and all things nice”….it should be more like….

    Nasty and Mean, we never fight clean,  but together we rule so don’t be a fool!

THAT’S what little girls are made of!


Posted on April 26, 2010, in HUMOR FOR THE COMMON SOUL and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Sounds like me and bernie, fought like cats and dogs. I always got the better of him. The weapon of choice was always my fingernails around his neck. Always beat his butt until he got taller and her got the better of me. But i put up a good fight. I remember my mother coming home saying she could hear me fighting two houses down where she was visiting. Part of growing up.

  2. Hey hey hey! YOU ma’am, were the one that told her that one knee was higher than the other.
    We stuck to stuff like ” the carpet sharks will eat you if you get out of bed”

    Thank you very much!

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