I have always admired those people who can keep a neat and tidy fridge. Everything on the right shelf, labeled and dated, placed in proper containers not old butter, and cool whip containers, and stacked neatly so you don’t have to play the ” guess what it was” game. I do try but for some reason I just can’t seem to get it right so about once every six weeks I get the bug to clean out the fridge. Yeah, I can see some of you now shaking your head in disgust thinking…six weeks??…but I will be honest and tell you that next to doing laundry this has to be my least favorite chore.

   I am famous for putting things in containers and not labeling what they are so there is always an assortment of things that leave me guessing what they once had been. They always get pushed to the very back of the fridge where no one see them, so when it comes time to clean the out, most have turned into “science projects”.

   I have often come across things hiding in there that I am not sure were even food products at one point. Did you know that hard-boiled eggs turn purple, and that noodles take on a lovely shade of pink? Well now you do. Meat products are always interesting finds as they tend to grow beards like the Oak Ridge Boys. I even think that if left long enough they will form into tiny bodies with eyes and mouths and take over like Vikings on a rape and pillage mission.

   And while I am on it….can some one please tell me what is with the leaving of  ONE pickle or olive in the jar? Did you just reach that point were if you ate just one more you would throw up? What the hell am I supposed to do with one pickle or olive? It’s kind of like the person who leaves one piece of bread, and its usually the end, or just enough cereal in the box to cover the bottom of a bowl, and don’t even go looking for the milk to put on it because if there is any in the container it’s now cottage cheese!  yeah yeah we have all had that experience of getting up in the middle of the night for a cold glass of milk only to find that instead of pouring into our glass it just sort of plops, and lord I hope you were one of those that drank from the container!

   So…after I have gotten everything out of the fridge I begin the task of trying to figure out what to feed to the “kitchen monster” and what to feed to the dogs so I generally follow this rule…pick it up…if it doesn’t growl at me…open it…if it doesn’t smelly funny or need a hair cut…offer it to the dogs…if they won’t touch it…feed the “kitchen monster”. My “kitchen monster” eats very well!

   LIFE LESSON: If it’s left over…learn to cook less!


Posted on April 15, 2010, in LIFE LESSONS. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. LOL Thanks Rob. Erma and I are kindered spirits I do believe either that or I am channeling her which could come in handy since the hubby always wanted to have a three-some. :/ But now that I think about it, I am not sure that would be to much fun since Erma and I both have short attention spans and tend to laugh at the most inopportune moments. 🙂

  2. chrislipjournal

    Hilarious! You’re like the Erma Bombeck of the 21st century. 🙂

    I love the line about the Oak Ridge Boys. Oh, and as for why there’s always just one pickle or olive left… in my house, it’s because we were all too polite. “I won’t eat that last one, I’ll save it for someone else.”


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